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Sunday, 30 August 2026

“Barely Enough” in Life and in Sport…



Barely Enough

There’s a version of this I’ve been circling for a while without landing on the right word for it, and I think I finally have it: barely enough.

Not balance. Not fifty percent order and fifty percent chaos, evenly split like a diet plan. Barely enough. The minimum order required to function, and not a gram more.

I came across some writing on complex systems theory recently that put a mechanism under something I’d only been feeling my way toward. The idea, in short: living systems — brains included — work best near the edge between order and chaos, not settled fully in either. Too much order and the system locks. It repeats itself. Nothing new can get in. Too much chaos and the system loses its thread entirely. Nothing holds long enough to mean anything.

What surprised me was where the healthy state actually sits. Not in the middle. Just below the edge, leaning slightly toward order — barely enough to hold a stable self, trust your own perception, act on what you’re seeing. Any more order than that stops being structure and starts being surplus. One line stayed with me: depression is too much order, psychosis is too much chaos. Same axis. Opposite failures.

Recent neuroscience, particularly work around the entropic brain hypothesis, frames this in terms of entropy — a measure of disorder or complexity in brain activity. From a biopsychosocial perspective, depression often involves overly rigid, low-entropy patterns: repetitive loops of thought, constrained emotional range, and reduced flexibility in how the system responds to the world. Early or unmedicated psychosis, by contrast, tends toward higher entropy — looser, less constrained patterns that can fragment coherence. Both sit on the same continuum of order and disorder; the difference is which direction the system has drifted, and how far.

The part that reframed things for me was anxiety. I’d have put it on the chaos side — racing thoughts, a system that won’t settle, everything scattered. But look at what anxiety actually does over time. The same worry on repeat. The same prediction, arriving in the same shape, resistant to whatever evidence turns up to contradict it. That’s not disorder. That’s a groove. Order that overshot its job and kept running long after the thing it was protecting against had already been answered.

That’s the distinction that matters. Some anxiety is load-bearing — it’s order doing exactly what it’s meant to, keeping you oriented to something real. Needless anxiety is the same mechanism, still firing, after the actual question has already been settled. Same axis. Different amount. The difference is the whole diagnosis.

I lived this for years in sport.

I was an extremely anxious player. I never saw myself as naturally gifted, so I grafted my craft through effort, repetition, and control. That approach built skill, but it also built a deeper feeling of not being good enough. The body responded the only way it knew how: it played tight. Every movement monitored. Every outcome gripped. Intensity was present, but it was rigid intensity — the kind that narrows options instead of expanding them.

And rigidity is counter-productive to performance. The irony is sharp and, once seen, hard to unsee. Good performance often requires a lack of forced “performance.” What it actually needs is an environment set for play and curiosity, held with significant intensity. Too much order in the name of not failing, and the system loses the very responsiveness that skill depends on. You stop playing the game in front of you and start managing your own adequacy instead.

That pattern didn’t stay on the field. It showed up in how I worked, how I trained, how I held myself in demanding environments. Surplus order became a default strategy for staying functional when the underlying sense of “enough” felt fragile.




Here’s where it stopped being an interesting idea about brains and started being something closer to what I actually think this is for.

Barely enough order isn’t a state you arrive at and then defend. It’s a live thing. It has to be just enough to read what’s actually here — this room, this moment, present tense — without freezing into a model that’s stopped updating, and without losing so much coherence that nothing can be held long enough to learn from. The whole point of reading the present accurately isn’t the present for its own sake. It’s that whatever comes next can only be aimed correctly from where you actually are. Not from where you were. Not from a flooded state where nothing is stable enough to aim from at all.

Adaptation is accurate reading of the present, done well enough to prepare for what’s coming. You can’t build toward a future you’re perceiving through a distorted present. A model stuck defending yesterday’s threat isn’t protecting you from tomorrow. It’s just spending your energy holding a shape that stopped being true.

F = R − A, more precisely than I think I’d had it before. R is what’s actually here, right now. A is the live tracking of that — and A only needs to be barely enough, not maximal, not total certainty, just sufficient to close the gap that’s actually in front of you. Free energy is what builds when A overshoots — rigid, defending an old read against a present that’s already moved — or when it undershoots and can’t hold a coherent read at all. Neither direction is really about the future. Both are a present that’s stopped being read honestly.

This puts something I wrote about recently in a different light. The friction I feel with people who rest hard in order, and the friction they probably feel with me resting hard in — what I’d been calling chaos, though I don’t think that was ever quite the right word either. I don’t think either of us is simply “wrong” or “right” about where to rest. I think it’s more likely both of us have drifted off barely enough, just in opposite directions. Their order might be running past what the moment needs, holding a model steady because holding it steady feels safer than reading what’s actually changed. My comfort with the open and unresolved might be running short of what a given moment actually needs, restless in rooms that would benefit from more structure than I’m willing to give them.

Neither drift is really about who we are. It’s about how accurately either of us is reading the present in front of us, right now, today — not about some fixed personality each of us is stuck defending.

I don’t have a tidy place to land this, and for once I think that’s exactly right, because a tidy landing would just be more order than the piece has earned.




What I keep coming back to: the target was never chaos, and it was never order either. It was always barely enough — held loosely, checked constantly, let go of the second it stops matching what’s actually here. That’s a harder discipline than picking a side and resting in it. I don’t think I’ve mastered it. I don’t think anyone has, for long. But I think it’s the only honest place to keep aiming.

F = R − A. Not a fixed model of the world, held forever. Barely enough awareness, held now, and re-earned the moment now changes.

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